She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
