Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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