I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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