I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
