we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
