this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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