I never want to see another naked old woman again.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
