I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
