Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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