Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
