I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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