I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
