Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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