it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
