Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
