THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
