But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
