just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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