So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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