Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Floor bacon is actually really good
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
