shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
