i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
