I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Even my vagina gasped.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
