..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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