so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
