WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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