i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
