I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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