I wish i was in the wii world.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
