theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
