I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
