Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
