About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
someone owes me an orgasm
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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