How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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