There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
