shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
