Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i think i have two assholes
is wine microwaveable?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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