I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
