Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
