Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
