I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i've created a new STD.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
