the day after is always just damage control
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
