y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
