remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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