Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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