Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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