Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
