im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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