i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
