I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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